How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
