Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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