Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
