I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
