my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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