I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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