Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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