Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
