FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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