he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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