It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
