Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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