What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Randomize
