I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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