So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize