went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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