she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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