I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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