I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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