I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
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