She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
