is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
