two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
