so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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