it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
