Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
