i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
