I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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