I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
