You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got inside last night via doggy door
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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