i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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