I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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