I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
