i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
