I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
