I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
