it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
