honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize