just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
