His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize