I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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