This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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