There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
