so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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