It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
