put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
