i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
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