So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize