According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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