Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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