What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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