i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
