singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just had sex on a roof
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
