It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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