Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Someone came in the potted fern
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
