Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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