Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
