You just made me feel so damn special
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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