How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
